Being in victim mode is believing that others or past circumstances created your misery and whatever you do won’t make a difference.
Behavior may show up as making excuses, blaming others, becoming defensive, and saying “it’s not my fault” and the more we complain about mistreatment, the more we are showing up as victims.
“When you detect blame in your mind, you know you are refusing to take responsibility for your life at this moment” according to Raptitude.com.
We carry stories from the past and collect evidence of how we’ve been wronged and each time the story is repeated, it keeps us worried and stuck.
People in victim mode:
- Believe the world is hopeless and circumstances will never change.
- Feel sorry for themselves, and powerless to change a situation.
- Struggle with self esteem and feel resentful of others success.
When you identify yourself as a victim, it effects the way you live life and you lose your power.
“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise” explains Byron Katie.
How Can We Change Our Thoughts?
Here are some useful steps we can take to escape victim mentality and take responsibility for our lives:
- Maintain your power by accepting the parts of you that aren’t perfect.
- Know your own worth and quit being defensive.
- Create little achievable goals to build confidence.
- Focus on what you have instead of what you don’t.
- Do a daily brain dump / thought download.
- Keep a gratitude journal.
- Quit making excuses, as excuses are how we justify not pursuing what we want.
- Stop blaming others, because blame keeps the focus off you when you’re looking for external reasons to explain your frustration or unhappiness.
- Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t.
- Don’t rely on external validation and praise from others to feel good about yourself.
- Set clear goals and boundaries.
- Be kind to yourself.
Look at the stories you tell yourself and notice your thoughts.
Are they serving you and helping you to move forward, or are they keeping you stuck?
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TOPIC: 12 Ways to Escape Victim Mentality!