We can always count on people pleasers because they are dependable and the most helpful individuals in the world.
They spend their lives giving to others, and rarely say “no” to anyone.
Typically, people pleasers don’t want others to be hurt or angry and want everyone to like them.
Saying “no” is not usually an option because it can lead to feelings of guilt.
Guilt is The Feeling That We’ve Done Something Wrong!
“If you are guilty, it is because you are attached to judgment, and that judgment is coming from outside of you” according to Psychology Today.
It’s sad, but in order for many people pleasers to feel good about themselves, they rely on external validation.
Being kind is a wonderful quality, but if you consistently go out of your way for others at your own expense, it can effect your health and well-being.
Many people tend to expect things from people pleasers, because they say yes to most everything.
When people pleasers say “yes” to others out of guilt, it’s very common to feel resentment and victimized.
People Pleasing Is A Choice!
Each time you say yes to another’s request, or offer to help in some way, ask yourself why you’re doing it.
Is it because you:
- feel guilty if you say “no”?
- won’t be liked if you refuse?
- think no one else can handle it?
- are shying away from conflict?
- have no sense of purpose?
- are avoiding an uncomfortable feeling?
- need to be needed?
- are using it as an escape?
- crave attention?
Or, maybe you genuinely want to perform the task at hand, and that’s ok!
When you people please, you get to decide if you like your reason for doing it and if it serves you.
If you don’t like your reason, you have the power to choose a different option!
Remember, you are allowed to say “no” and it may take a little practice.
If you weren’t people pleasing, what other fulfilling activity could you be engaged in, putting yourself first?
What could you spend your time on?
If there’s something you found helpful on this post, please leave a comment!
TOPIC: How To Put Yourself First and Stop Being a People Pleaser!